• you can’t invite everyone
• you can’t PLEASE everyone
• not everyone is as considerate as you
• sometimes the ones who have been in your place before are the least understanding
• sadly, you realize who your real friends are
• big weddings=big $$=
• ….make sure people who owe you $$ pay you back
• the USPS sucks sometimes
• a wedding coordinator is a good idea
• a fight with your fiance/fiancee is inevitable
• people will be inevitably annoying
• time goes by too fast
• you have to be careful with what you eat and do (less pigging out, no high risk activities such as warrior dash)
• you are constantly trying to get in touch with people, whether it’s guests or vendors
• …and the list goes on.

POSITIVES…

• you prepare for a day that lasts a ‘lifetime’
• you put the past in the past, live in the present, and prepare for the future
• fighting with your fiance/fiancee is healthy, normal, and brings you closer together
• wedding planning is a true test of compatibility
• finding that those friends who really step up for you can truly surprise you
• being forced to be organized and responsible
• planning with your best friend is FUN!
• receiving cool and thoughtful gifts along the way
• getting the chance to say, “it’s our wedding!”
• appreciating all the support and advice from the people around you
• hearing someone say, “I wouldn’t miss this occasion.”
• marking off things as done on a checklist is one of the best feelings of relief.
• making it officially official takes time, work, and patience…it is a great achievement in life and in love. =)

We just submitted our marriage application this morning…time is passing quickly, but we’re so excited for our special day!

Retreat. Restore. Renew.  

I love you…and You. Even more than before. =)

I should be focusing my energy on other things, like bridesmaids dresses, making appointments, finding a florist, etc.  But I can’t get focused.  Not when I’m haunted by disturbing images of the past.  It’s such a huge setback.  I can’t steer myself to live in the present and future.  Like a curse.  But the past affects the present and future in many ways.  What a cluster eff. 

Ever think of something, a memory, and get feelings of nostalgia?  Only to find out later on that you probably shouldn’t have felt that way because it wasn’t what it was suppose to be?  Yeah.  That sucks.  Literally sucks away the happiness in the memories that were created.  To the point where you don’t want to ever think it was true.  Because really, it was all a lie, so why?

Honesty can go a long way.  It matters.  People will respect you more if you’re honest with them, rather than fabricate lies of what they’d rather hear.  And eventually, lies will catch up with you and bite you in the ass.  People call it karma.  I call it a lesson from God.  ”God sees the truth, but waits”

So now what?

Road to recovery?  A long one.

How to get back on track?  Prayer. Forgiveness.

Despite a tough beginning with personal tests of patience, I’m looking forward to this.  Out with the old, in with the new.  Whipping out the new calender.  Getting things done. Planning one of the most important days of my life with my best companion.  

So what’s next? 

-Church: done

-Reception: done

-Videographer: done

-DJ: done

-Photog: 

-Florist: 

-Decorator:

-Photobooth:

-Guestlist: 

-Wedding gown: 

-All the awesome details:

I guess some people say we’re ahead of the game….but there’s only 8 months left! Gahh!!! And seating arrangements for 400 guests? Is that really suppose to be hard? haha. 

Yay!

2011. So many emotions. Uncertainty, heartache, doubt…confidence, joy, love. Although there were downfalls, and although the past still stings, I’m content and fulfilled at the close of the year. 2012. :)

Pretty sure I’ve got the holiday blues.

Sigh.

I hope this stress subsides soon.

:/